Misconstrued
by KaydenceRei
Summary: On multiple occasions early on, quite a few instances led to the relationship between Bruce and Natasha being misconstrued as a 'relationship' even when it was nothing of the sort. Here's six of those instances. Rated T for innocent circumstances being ridiculously misinterpreted as something less than innocent. All original Avengers included.


**Random as anything, but here's six random scenarios where mostly innocent situations get misread and misinterpreted by other residents of Avengers Tower as less than innocent. Enjoy!**

 **Misconstrued** :

" _I know you believe you understand  
what you think I said, but I'm not sure  
that you realize that what you heard  
is not actually what I meant."_

* * *

 _ **One...**_

Walking into the lab, Tony expected to find Bruce, but the scientist was absent from his usual post at his desk. Instead as he stood in the doorway his eyes were fixed on the redheaded assassin who was instead perched upon Bruce's desk in a t-shirt. He could see the pale skin of Natasha's legs and thighs which told Tony that the woman was currently lacking her pants, and to top that off, he could see the black and gray ruffled mess of hair of one Bruce Banner poking up from _between_ her legs.

Tony shook his head in an instant, opened and closed his eyes a few times, but the situation never changed and he never awoke from some strange dream he thought his mind might have partaken in.

Then they were speaking. _Speaking_. People didn't speak while they were doing _that,_ that _thing_ that even Tony himself didn't do in his lab. It was like defiling the sanctity of something precious. Dumm-E was whirring his little clamp beside him and Tony could have groaned. And in front of the kids? Good God... He moved his hand to block Dumm-E's view.

"C'mon, Banner. It doesn't take this long," came Natasha's words.

Tony stared wide-eyed at that, because really, how long _had_ he been doing it? Hell, how long had the two of them been indulging in these types of...release?

"It's really deep in there, if you'd stop squirming it would be a lot easier," came Bruce's easy retort.

' _Good grief..._ ' Tony thought. How could he expect a woman _not_ to squirm? If it was done right then the woman was most certainly going to squirm. And _why_ was he even still here? It was a little like having walked upon a train wreck and not being able to look away from the carnage.

"Then put the tweezers away and just shove your finger in."

All Tony could wonder then was, 'why the hell would Bruce being doing that with tweezers?' and not, 'maybe I should be getting the hell out of here...'.

"Really? That's what you suggest? Need I remind you who the professional is?"

Tony blinked several times. Bruce was certainly cocky, not a trait Tony was used to hearing come from the other man. Then the redhead groaned and her fingertips gripped roughly at the sides of the desk.

"Just do it, I want this done sooner than later," Natasha rasped out.

This was just plain ridiculous. He should have walked away minutes ago. _Minutes_. Bruce should have taken up something that required holding his breath. Deep sea diving was a good option. He'd do great if his oxygen tank ran out.

"Use two fingers if you have to, just get it done."

Bruce released a sigh, "Fine."

Sure enough, Tony heard the 'clunk' as Bruce tossed a pair of tweezers on the floor, then apparently he dug in with his fingers because Natasha let out a wicked groan and writhed on the desk, her back arching a little as her own fingers gripped the desk even more roughly than before. Apparently the scientist had never been holding his mouth. These two were into something strange and mind boggling. Tony had done some weird things with women but...tweezers?

"You couldn't ask Barton to do this?" Bruce asked next.

Tony couldn't believe it. They were going to have _that_ discussion. _Now_?! Even Tony had never discussed other men during the act, on the off chance he actually knew or cared about another man being in the picture at the time.

"He's not around right now," came the answer, "and it wasn't exactly something that could wait."

 _Oh...my...God..._ This was just surreal. Sure, he understood having needs to be taken care of, but to be that desperate for it? He knew Natasha was rather...promiscuous...given her job and it's requirements, but that was just being a total fiend.

"I get that, but there wasn't anyone else?"

Just how many people did Bruce think Natasha had on call for this sort of thing?

"These days? Not really. Before HYDRA, sure, I could count on at least two hands the number of people I'd go to, but...that situation has changed."

Two hands? Had the woman no sense of the words 'committed relationship'? Even Tony had managed to figure it out and _that_ was a miracle on it's own according to Pepper and the media.

"I guess that's fair enough," Bruce agreed and then a sigh of relief came from the trembling redhead. Honestly, it was about damn time. Tony hadn't thought the poor guy would ever get the job done. Then Bruce said something worse, "I got it, you're going to need a few stitches though."

Stitches?!What the actual hell?

Tony watched as Bruce tossed a bloody and mangled bullet onto the desk and stood up. "Oh thank God," he mumbled out. It was loud enough that both Bruce and Natasha turned to stare at him and Tony cleared his throat and shifted a bit awkwardly. "Uh, my bad. I just—I was just leaving," he assured them.

Bruce watched as Tony left and then looked back at Natasha who looked equally as confused. "Maybe he's squeamish," he offered up.

"Stark? Squeamish? That word isn't in the man's vocabulary, Banner," Natasha answered with the barest of shrugs in response.

Bruce let out a tiny laugh at her comment.

* * *

 _ **Two...**_

Steve wandered his way to the gym in the Avengers Tower. He learned to stop going to public gyms when all he did was get ogled by men and women alike, then also began to receive requests for autographs and pictures to top it off. He wasn't against the staring persay, but he was frustrated with the pictures and autographs when all he wanted to do was relax and punch a bag.

"You're doing it wrong, Banner."

Banner? Bruce Banner was in the gym? With Natasha Romanoff nonetheless? The man hardly left the lab, preferring to keep to himself as much as Tony would actually allow him to.

"There's a wrong way to stretch?"

"There's a wrong way to do a lot of things, almost everything really," came Natasha's nonchalant reply, "this is most definitely one of them."

Steve actually found himself curious as he rounded the corner for the gym. His ears had picked up their talking before he ever actually got there. The bright side to his serum was he almost always knew what he was about to find in the next room. Or several rooms down.

"You're going to strain or pull something," Natasha told him next, "here, do it like this."

"Should you be doing that so soon after getting the bullet out—wow...I don't think the human body is supposed to bend like that...I'm not doing that."

Steve almost laughed at the comment.

"It's not usually this difficult. I should work the kinks out of that leg first, I'm still a little stiff. Could you just grab—yeah, right there."

Steve ruffled his brow at that.

"I thought you were supposed to be resting and relaxing?"

"This is how I rest and relax."

"Should've seen that coming."

Steve chuckled as he got to the doors.

"Just push a little harder."

He pushed the doors open just as the groan left Natasha's lips and he blinked several times. There was Bruce Banner's back and Natasha's one bare leg from her knee to her foot was over top of Bruce's shoulder as he was hovering over her.

"Oh...oh God—" Steve mumbled out with wide eyes, "I'm sorry—so sorry, I'll come back later!" And he took off as quickly as he possibly could.

Natasha quirked an eyebrow up as she glanced around Bruce to see Steve flee.

"Wonder what his problem was," Bruce wondered as he looked from the swinging door to Natasha in her tank top and black shorts.

Once again she shrugged, much like she had with Tony in the lab, "I haven't got a clue. He just did this with me yesterday. Maybe in his day helping a girl stretch was considered a form of courting a dame? Maybe I should stick to t-shirts and sweatpants around him."

Bruce snorted out a laugh, "That's terrible."

* * *

 _ **Three**_...

Laughter. That was what brought Clint towards the lab. The sound of Natasha's laughter. It wasn't that he hadn't ever heard the woman laugh before because he had heard her laugh plenty of times. It was simply the fact that she was laughing and he wasn't the one making her do it. Typically Natasha kept herself stone-faced and disinterested even months into staying at the tower. It wasn't that she didn't find the others amusing, or that she didn't like them, it was just who she was. It took him years to crack her and someone else had just done it in a few short months.

Clint had to know who.

"Why would he put everything up so high?" and that sounded like Bruce Banner.

Clint could almost see Natasha's smirk as she answered the scientist, "Because he can just fly around and get whatever he wants. You? You he's going to make work for it."

"Mind giving me a hand?"

"Banner, even my hand isn't going to help you get up there."

"What if you got on my shoulders?"

The silence that ensued after that question almost made Clint snort out a laugh. If it wasn't a life or death situation then there wasn't a chance in hell that she would—

"Fine, but if you drop me then even the Big Guy won't be able to save you."

Clint didn't doubt that threat for a moment. Still, it only took two minutes for him to get to the lab and get himself inside. Apparently, a lot could happen in two minutes. The noise that came said that something, or 'someone' might have actually been dropped, but given that there was no Hulk rampaging inside the lab and instead more laughter ensued, Clint thought it was safe to surmise that Natasha hadn't tried to kill Bruce Banner.

He arched an eyebrow up as he took several steps into the lab, staring a bit dumbfounded at what he came across. Bruce Banner was on his back on the floor and Natasha was perched upon his legs holding whatever metal contraption of a science experiment that they had clearly been trying to retrieve.

"Well, I got it," Natasha informed the scientist with a shrug.

"I noticed."

She huffed out a laugh and Clint _knew_ that laugh. Sultry and flirty. She had a single eyebrow quirked up and a slanted little smile as she looked down at Bruce Banner. "And that's not _all_ I got," she pointed out.

Bruce's laugh was slightly uncomfortable and Clint groaned out loud as both of them shifted their gazes to look at him. Bruce looked at least slightly embarrassed by the situation, but as per usual, Natasha didn't look bothered in the least.

"I really don't wanna know what else you got," Clint informed them, waving his hand dismissively, "and don't forget the briefing later...I'll just—just let you deal with what you've got."

Natasha snickered as her partner took off and she glanced back down at Bruce, "He's always had a dirty mind." She held up Tony's hidden stash of potato chips, "I always wondered where he hid all his snacks."

Bruce still couldn't hide his embarrassment, "Did he think—"

"Oh yeah."

"Great..."

Natasha laughed again and tapped Bruce playfully on the cheek before she stood, helped him up, then handed him the contraption he had wanted. After popping a chip into her mouth and perching herself on the desk she gave the barest semblance of a shrug, "Could have been worse."

"How could that have been worse?" he dared to ask.

"Could have been Stark."

Bruce chuckled.

* * *

 _ **Four...**_

"This is a terrible idea."

"It's just baking, Natasha."

"Do I strike you as the Susie Homemaker type?"

Pepper smiled and shook her head as the two bantered back and forth in the kitchen. Nearly a year in the tower and the two were constantly bickering, much like herself and Tony would do, which led to quite a few questions that she was sure she would never get the answers to.

"Fine, sit and watch then."

Natasha responded in what Pepper had come to deem her 'seduce-him-silly' ammo, which was a throaty, raspy and seductive little tone of voice, "Probably for the best. I'll lick the spoon when you're done though."

"That's hilarious..."

Bruce had definitely been affected by the comment and Pepper shook her head in an amused manner. The two might be nothing, or they could be something, but either way it was always entertaining when she came upon them in the same room.

"You really should mix that a little by hand before you—"

And Pepper had only stepped away for a minute to answer a phone call but when she came back Bruce was grumbling out a rather crude string of words that had the redhead inside the kitchen laughing and Pepper in slight disbelief. She didn't hear him use foul language very often.

"Shit...it's everywhere..."

"No kidding, I tried to warn you," Natasha told him, "don't worry, I'll take care of it."

"Whoa! What the hell are you doing? Natasha, just...no. I can do that myself!" The scientist let out a groan and then spoke again, "I can't believe I'm letting you do this..."

Of course Pepper had chosen that moment to open the door. Bruce whipped his head and stared at her like a deer in the headlights and for just a moment she couldn't see Natasha at all. Then she saw the top of that fiery red hair just above the counter top that was between herself and the two in the kitchen and her own eyes widened when she realized _where_ Natasha's face was. She was kneeling down behind the counter with her face right in Bruce's...

"Oh my God..." Pepper shrieked, covering her eyes in an instant. "You better sanitize _everything_ afterwards!" she called out as she ran back out of the kitchen.

Natasha stood up with the washcloth in hand and eyed the door in confusion. "What the hell was that about?" she questioned, glancing towards Bruce who was red as a tomato.

"Um..."

Natasha quirked an eyebrow up before she glanced down at his flour covered pants, back at his face, then the counter, and finally to the door of the kitchen. "Oh," and she gave the smallest of shrugs, "well...again, that could have been worse."

"It could have been Tony?" Bruce joked.

"Or it could have been Barton again."

* * *

 _ **Five...**_

Natasha watched Bruce in the lab silently as he sat at his desk with vials of...whatever it was he currently was working on. She sighed and shook her head before she moved fully into the lab and closer to the scientist. He had been holed up in the lab for two days now and somebody needed to convince him to leave it and go get some food and sleep. Tony seemed fine with leaving him be and she supposed that really only left herself as someone who would willing try to force the man who could be Hulk to leave his lab.

In hindsight, she probably should have announced herself given he _had_ been in here for so long without sleep _and_ he tended to be jumpy even without the lack of sleep. That thought came far too late as she placed a hand on his shoulder, "Bruce—"

Sure enough, he jumped, and the contents in the vial flew into the air. Because luck was on her side, said contents also splattered all over her blouse. To top that off, whatever the liquid was was _hot_ and eating through her top within seconds.

"Get that off!" Bruce told her.

Before she could do it herself, Bruce actually pulled her blouse off and threw it on the floor. All she could think to respond to that with was to blink several times. She had killed men for a lot less than ripping her shirt off, but whatever it was in the vial, her shirt had a giant hole eaten through it as it laid on the ground. Before either of them could say a word about her state of undress, or the fact that Bruce had done it, they heard someone in the door of the lab clear their throat.

"Apologies Lady Natasha and Doctor Banner, I was unaware you two were in that sort of relationship," Thor commented, "I shall come back to chat on another occasion when you are not in a state of undress."

Bruce sighed and rubbed his hand over his face tiredly and haphazardly, "That one we'll never be able to explain..."

"You ripping my shirt off? Not a chance. You should definitely be glad Stark didn't walk in for that one though," Natasha told him with a half-chuckle.

Bruce gave her a small smile before taking his own shirt off, averting his eyes, and handing it over to her. "Sorry about that...the liquid was highly corrosive and it wouldn't have been good if it got on your skin," he tried to explain.

Natasha gave a nonchalant shrug as she pulled his shirt on and buttoned it up, "It's fine. Thanks for the shirt." She finished the last button but it didn't exactly change the fact that his shirt was too large for her even if Bruce wasn't a big guy. He was thoroughly embarrassed, especially after Thor's quick entry and exit and the God's assumption that they had been undressing each other, so she quirked an eyebrow up at his bare chest, "Anybody ever tell you that you are one very hairy man, Banner?"

It succeeded in lightening the mood because he laughed, rubbed at his eyes, and shook his head. "I try to keep my shirt on as much as possible," he informed her with a chuckle.

One corner of her lips quirked into a slanted little smile as she folded her arms across her chest, "I never said it was a bad thing. Just...go get some sleep, Bruce. Preferably before you handle corrosives again."

"Uh...sure, right..." he agreed, if only out of embarrassment if not because he actually was tired. He just wasn't sure if he was embarrassed over her discussing his body hair or him spilling corrosive material on her, but either way he supposed sleep was in order. "Thanks, Natasha," he tacked on for good measure.

She waved her hand dismissively at his appreciation. "Don't mention it," she told him as she led him to the elevator. While he rode the elevator to the floor with his own room, she decided to stop off in the kitchen.

"I thought you were going to get Doctor Banner to convince him to come out of the lab and eat," came Steve's voice as she stepped in and picked up an apple from the kitchen counter.

Natasha didn't actually bother to look back at the table to see who else was there, if she had, she might have thought twice about how she responded. Instead she answered him before she turned around, "He was too exhausted, he'll probably be in bed for a while."

There was a cough and then a couple of chuckles and Natasha turned to see Thor grinning at her. _Oh hell_... The Asgardian whispered something to Steve, who turned a miraculous shade of red before burying his face in his arms on the table, and she released a sigh.

"Romanoff, isn't that Bruce's shirt?" came Tony's voice. _Double Hell..._

Natasha eyed Thor with disdain as the man went to open his mouth and she shut him up in an instant, "Don't even think about it, Thor."

The demigod coughed, "As you wish."

She took her apple and left, thankfully with Tony none the wiser.

* * *

 _ **Six...**_

Tony slowly made his way to the kitchen with Clint dragging his feet beside him. "You're loathing this as much as I am, aren't you, Barton?" he questioned.

"Man, I love food and there is no denying that, but Thor makes the nastiest concoctions," Clint informed him with a groan.

"Has anyone besides me thought that maybe we should just _tell_ him?" Tony asked next.

"Sure, _you_ tell the God of Thunder you don't want to eat his food," Clint offered.

Tony grimaced but he didn't get a chance to reply to that as whispering voices came from the kitchen. He locked eyes with Barton and they both pressed their ears to the door.

Bruce's voice met their ears, "If anyone can hide the zucchini where no one will find it, it's you, Natasha."

Tony felt the grin form on his lips and he almost laughed out loud when Clint covered his mouth. He shot the archer a dirty look but they both continued to listen.

"Have you seen the size of this thing? Hiding it isn't going to be easy," Natasha answered.

 _Good grief..._ Clint could barely contain his laugh now.

"I guess not..." Bruce admitted with a sigh.

"How do you even get it this big? It's practically on steroids."

And if Clint's hand wasn't covering his mouth than Tony was certain he would have lost it by now.

Bruce finally said the one that even had Clint red in the face from holding back his laughter, "I don't care how or where you hide it, just as long as I don't have to eat it."

Natasha blinked several times as she heard a few snorts and chuckles from the other side of the kitchen door. She watched Bruce glance over too as she hid the zucchini behind her back, just in case Thor returned slightly earlier than planned.

Pepper's voice rang out on the other side of the door, "Why are you two hiding outside of the kitchen instead of going in?"

"Bruce and Romanoff are hiding the zucchini," came Tony's immediate answer.

"Oh no...not again..." came Pepper's agonized voice.

Natasha just couldn't resist. "We'll sterilize everything when we're done," she called out to all of them behind the door. She shifted her eyes mischievously over to Bruce's wide and disbelieving ones.

"Oh hell," came Clint's groan as all three pairs of feet quickly trotted away.

"Seriously?" Bruce whispered.

She shrugged, "Well, if they're going to keep coming to these conclusions than I'm going to at least get my laughs out of it."

He huffed out a tiny little laugh and shook his head, "Do you know how many hiding the zucchini jokes Tony's going to make after this?"

"If I don't have to eat one of Thor's infamous zucchini pancakes, it'll be completely worth it," Natasha informed him.

* * *

 **And that's all folks. XD Special thanks to Black Victor Cachat for helping out! Hope you got a few laughs here.**


End file.
